Just one more day!

I can't believe that I defend my dissertation tomorrow. 

5 years went by so quickly!

Already, I am almost forgetting all of the crappy parts and missing all of the wonderful parts.

Let's just hope tomorrow goes well!

Already forgotten

I have been working on my PhD for 5 years now.  And if all goes well, I will "graduate" on Sunday, May 23rd.

For PhD students, "graduation" is actually a Hooding Ceremony in which the advisor hoods the new PhD.  It's very pompy and circumstancey.

I enjoy the champagne.

I realized a few days ago that my advisor was planning to be out of the country that day (starting field work with the rest of my labmates).  The really crazy part is that HE was the one that insisted on his students going to the hooding ceremony!

When I realized his scheduling mistake, I was really upset (perhaps exacerbated by lots of rum & diet coke).  And my wonderful labmate quickly emailed and notified him of the mistake.  And he is working on changing the travel dates. 

But I am still upset about it.  After 5 years of total dedication to working for him, he doesn't even look up the day of my most important event?  Or have one of his 3 secretaries do it?  Or have his RA or TA look it up?

I'll get over it eventually (with more rum and champagne). 

And tack it on to my list of "Things I will never do as an advisor".

Getting there!

I finally had a meeting with my advisor and things are looking good! 

We actually talked about science.  Eventually.  After I said "Fine, I will answer your personal questions about the other miserable grad students in your lab.  But then you will answer my questions about science."  The compromises that fill my life!

The dissertation is growing (pretty much exponentially) and I am hopeful that I will get a full draft out to the committee by the end of next week.  I hope!

I've been pretty cranky with grad school this year, but now that I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I am almost enjoying it again. 

Of course, that light at the end of the tunnel is unemployment.  But I'm not going to think about that for now ....

Lockdown!!!

I am in the final stretch of this whole PhD thing.

I hope.

I don't actually know for sure, because I have had little feedback from my advisor.

But I am just in the mind set that I will be graduating come May!  As I have been for the last year!

If I just keep saying it, it will eventually be true, right?

Anyway ... this finally push has led me to be on "lockdown" to get all of the writing done.  I decide that this Wednesday - Sunday would be solely dedicated to dissertation stuff. 

It's Day 4 and I am starting to go crazy, but it's getting done!

I spent Day 3 at Panera, in a quasi-old-school writing day scenario.  It went pretty well, so I am thinking I will be spending Day 5 there too.  Despite the fact that I know RyGuy will be a little annoyed that I will go there and leave him alone all day.  But I just need to be DONE and am willing to do what I need to in order to finish!

Wish me luck!!

Too much to do!

I enjoyed a wonderful birthday weekend with Ry & friends (pictures to follow if I ever find my camera cord).

But now I am realizing how much work I must get done!!!!!!!!

Ideally, I will get a draft of my dissertation to my committee by March 1st!

To do that, I need to:

• watch 14 hours of video for Chapter 3
• get all data from Chapter 3 to statistician (crazy hard stats need to be done)
• re-write Chapter 3
• watch 30 hours of video for Chapter 5
• analyze all data for Chapter 5
• write ALL of Chapter 5
• write Chapter 1 (intro)
• write Chapter 6 (conclusions)
• make dissertation look pretty

Oh, and I have to give a stupid departmental seminar this week ... which has taken up too much of my time.

Wish me luck!

More fabulous advisor track-change comments

I write:

"Based on [X] and [Y], we predicted that [Z would happen]"

He highlights above sentence and comments (and this is a direct quote):

"you must explain why we are predicting…"


Sigh.

Censor-less

Lately I have felt really annoyed at work. When I walk into the building, I just feel anxiety (and I am not an anxious person). I try to avoid many people and just hide in my office or the lab.

When I am forced to interact with people, my annoyance is multiplied. Throughout my life, I have been annoyed by people who "don't get it", but I can usually be quietly annoyed. And then just complain about it later to someone who shares my view of the world. But I am finding it more difficult to not let things get to me and just sit quietly.

This week, at 2 different meetings, it was impossible for me to just sit and smile. At the first, large meeting, I was called on and said something a bit snarky. Not too rude, but not something I would normally ever say out loud. Especially at a large meeting.

Then, at a lab meeting, I totally snapped at a lab mate. This lab mate has become my least favorite person over the last 18 months, and she said a few things that rubbed me the wrong way. So I snapped at her. In a very sarcastic and condescending tone.

I immediately felt bad and apologized.

I felt bad because of the way I reacted. It was mean and I did not like that I have gotten to the point where I feel that it is OK to maliciously snap at people. Especially this girl, because she is so pathetic, and does not "get it" at all. I feel like I kicked a slow puppy dog.

Of course, I really believed everything I said. I just don't like that I have lost all ability to censor myself.

I think that this is definitely a sign that I need to move on!!

All aboard!

Yep, all of my committee members are officially on the "May 2010 Graduation Train"!! Woo woo!

Now I just need to keep chugging along!

Mandatory Meeting of the Minds

I thought I would take a moment to complain.

This evening, I am required to go to a "mandatory" meeting for all of the grad students in my department. The topic of the meeting is "professional development".

Here are a few reasons why I'd like to complain about this (here, on a blog, rather than to the grad advisor in charge, whose signature I need in a few weeks) :

• It's until 7pm, and I have an hour drive home.
• The woman in charge of the whole thing is hardly the model of professionalism.
• The students that actually need help with the whole grad school thing don't realize it and will not take this seriously.
• Perhaps too little, too late.
• How is it "madatory", if there are no consequences for not attending?

Thanks, I feel better now.

2010 already? It's gonna be a CRAZY year!

I haven't blogged since LAST year!

While I haven't been updating my goals, I have been working very hard towards them.

Ry & I spent a very nice holiday with his family and then traveled to Buffalo for a week to hang out with my family (maybe, someday, I will get around to some photos on here). We spent time with the niece & nephew, hung out with family and friends, and even managed to do a few things for the wedding (officially less than a year now!!!!)!

As soon as we got back home, I went into crazy work mode, preparing for a BIG committee meeting. While there was an opportunity for it to be an amazing success, it did end pretty well. But resulted in lots of work that I need to do NOW, NOW, NOW! If I want to graduate in May ...

While freaking out about graduation, I am still waiting to hear about a job. I have applied to a few dozen places now and am just hoping to hear SOMETHING at some point! I will soon start looking in to other types of work!

So the next few months will be busy, busy, busy, with a dissertation, finding a job and getting ready for the wedding!

Good thing I like to be busy!

Yikes! Mid-December Update

The month is half-over, and here is how the goals are coming along:

• Finish draft of Experiment 1 paper and get it to advisor (ASAP!)
  Done! The draft is complete and it is off to the advisor. He told me yesterday that he "forgot" he was supposed to be reading it. Sigh.
• Collect HALF the data for Experiment 2
  I have started collecting data .... but have a LOT more to go!
• Finish getting replicates for Experiment 2 (just 1 or 2 more!)
  If my fish would just ... lay eggs ... I would be a happier person.
• Start draft of Experiment 2 paper
  It's in my head, just not written down yet!
• Finish getting replicates for Widow paper (3 more!)
  Again ... if my fish would just f...
• Get CR field paper from co-author, edit & submit
  This is really starting to annoy me. I wrote up this paper on data from another scientist ... and got it to him 6 weeks ago ... and he hasn't even bothered to look at it yet. If I don't get a response about it in the next week, I am going to have to get on this guy!
• Apply for 1 more job (until post doc season starts)
  Actually managed to apply for 2, but hope more will be posted and will be able to apply to those too! I am really hoping to hear something good about all of these applications soon!

Here's hoping I have a super productive week and get a crazy amount of work done before Christmas and traveling to Buffalo for New Years! I have a committee meeting in 4 weeks and have to convince my committee to let me graduate in May. So I gotta get my ass in gear!

My current life ...

... Exactly.

(**Except exchange the peaceful walk to work with a peaceful 1-hour commute)

Chatterbox x3?

The chair of the graduate committee just informed me that I "owe" the department 3 seminars next semester. That's 3 hours of talking about my research.

Now ... I love me some powerpoint presentations.

But does anyone really want to hear about fish behavior for 3 hours? Really??

December Goals

It's only 3 days into December, but I am totally distracted by Christmas and other non-work things! It is time to get serious!!

Here are this month's (far too ambitious) goals:

• Finish draft of Experiment 1 paper and get it to advisor (ASAP!)
• Collect HALF the data for Experiment 2
• Finish getting replicates for Experiment 2 (just 1 or 2 more!)
• Start draft of Experiment 2 paper
• Finish getting replicates for Widow paper (3 more!)
• Get CR field paper from co-author, edit & submit
• Apply for 1 more job (until post doc season starts)

I need to have a committee meeting in January and give a seminar in February, so I need to stay on track! And avoid the distractions of Christmas and wedding planning!

November is over!

I blinked and November is gone!

Here are those goals I set for myself:

• Analyze ALL data from Experiment 1b
• Write significant draft for Experiment 1 paper and send to advisor
• Collect HALF the data for Experiment 2
• Finish getting replicates for Experiment 2 (just 1 or 2 more!)
• Start draft of Experiment 2 paper
• Finish getting replicates for Widow paper
• Assist old advisor in finishing & submitting Pesky Thesis Paper
• Edit & submit CR field paper
• Give two guest lectures
• Apply for 2 more jobs (until post doc season starts)
• Apply for fellowship for Spring semester
• Write 10,000 words for InaDWriMo (as part of the above goals)!

I'm giving myself a score of 57.167%. Not great, but I am giving myself 10 extra bonus points for each of two goals: (1) Not only did the Pesky Thesis Paper get submitted, but it was accepted! and (2) Not only did I apply for the fellowship for the Spring semester, but I was awarded the fellowship!!! Yay! With those bonus points, I am at 77%, which I think is outstanding!

Let's see how December goes!

'Little' 10!

I am so happy about science write now (which is not something I have been able to say lately)!!!

I just got a paper accepted!!! YAY!!

I am even more excited because it was the Pesky Thesis Paper that has haunted me for more than 4 years!!

The paper is on the behavior of every scientist's favorite fish, so I thought it just had to be published at some point. But this paper has been rejected so many times that I actually lost count (I am not being cute ... I really lost count ... it has to be 4 or 5 times now ... in various forms). But now, after my old advisor got asked to be part of a special issue in an international journal, and he re-wrote some stuff, and his student did some more tests ..... it was accepted for publication! Without revisions!!!!!! YAY!!!!

And, as a milestone, this is officially my 10th paper!

It doesn't count toward the Big 10 that my current advisor challenged me to get, but it is still 10 for me!! And I am very happy!

November's Goals!

Here's what I want to accomplish this month!

• Analyze ALL data from Experiment 1b
• Write significant draft for Experiment 1 paper and send to advisor
• Collect HALF the data for Experiment 2
• Finish getting replicates for Experiment 2 (just 1 or 2 more!)
• Start draft of Experiment 2 paper
• Finish getting replicates for Widow paper
• Assist old advisor in finishing & submitting Pesky Thesis Paper
• Edit & submit CR field paper
• Give two guest lectures
• Apply for 2 more jobs (until post doc season starts)
• Apply for fellowship for Spring semester
• Write 10,000 words for InaDWriMo (as part of the above goals)!

November is also full of non-work things (like Ry's big birthday and a trip to Buffalo for Black Friday ... I mean Thanksgiving!), so I need to really work my butt off this month!

Where did October go?

My goals for October were:

• Collect & analyze ALL data from Experiment 1b
• Write significant draft for Experiment 1 paper
• Start collecting data for Experiment 2
• Finish getting replicates for Experiment 2
• Finish & submit pesky Thesis paper
• Write significant draft of CR field paper and get it out to co-authors
• Get together some lectures for a bunch of classes I agreed to teach the first week of November
• Finish applying for jobs (until post doc season starts)

OK ... so, if I again calculate out a possible 100% completion score for all goals, I am only at 68.667%. That is slightly better than September's score, but still not good!

Totally bringing down my average (with a 0% completion) is the Pesky Thesis Paper. I have sent it to my co-author and old advisor a while ago, and hope to hear back this week about getting it out SOON! I am sick of the paper and have no desire to work on it anymore, so it better get accepted this time!

The rest of my goals were a bit closer to completion. And I am hoping I'll have a much higher score for November!!! Stay tuned for new goals soon!

Reason why I work from home, #157

Today I had a conversation with another grad student that is currently in charge of the bio-grad-student-club. He was angry because the graduate student coordinator wanted him to explain an upcoming event to new grad students. These students must present their work at the event and have never done it before. But grad student-in-charge thinks that it is insulting to actually explain to the new students how to do new things. I mean, they should just know what to do.

I tried suggesting that it wouldn't be a horrific idea to just briefly mention the process at the meeting, as both a refresher to old students and an explanation to new students. In a nice, quick non-condescending way. We agreed to disagree and he decided that he will start the discussion with "The graduate coordinator thinks you're all stupid ..."

2 hours later, I get an email from the secretary (also new) asking me what she should tell one of the new students .... because the new student doesn't know what to do.

Really??

October Goals

I know it is probably very boring for you to read my list of monthly goals. But it is a great help to me! I always have lots of lists taped to my office walls or on a post-it notes in my planner that I gleefully cross-off as I accomplish goals.

But those little notes to myself do not hold me accountable. Posting my work goals on the Internet makes me feel a bit more pressure. Which I definitely need if I am going to graduate in May!

So, thank you all (4 of you) for putting up with my "goal posts" (haha ... sorry).

Here they are for October (let's see if I can be more successful than September!):

• Collect & analyze ALL data from Experiment 1b
• Write significant draft for Experiment 1 paper
• Start collecting data for Experiment 2
• Finish getting replicates for Experiment 2
• Finish & submit pesky Thesis paper
• Write significant draft of CR field paper and get it out to co-authors
• Get together some lectures for a bunch of classes I agreed to teach the first week of November (hmmm... not even sure what these are about really...)
• Finish applying for jobs (until post doc season starts)

Oh ... and everything else that I need to do on a daily basis!
Hmmm ... too ambitious?