Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Football, the fantasy

Woohoo! I actually won a Fantasy Football match-up this week! Crazy! This has never happened before! I don't even know the appropriate celebration. A fantasy beer?

As you can probably tell, I am new to the fake online sports (though, I would like to point out that I am pretty good at other fake sports, including, but not limited to: Wii boxing, Wii bowling and Texas Hold'em).

Here has been my strategy thus far:

1) After the first week, someone told me I could change the players that the online service automatically gave me (in the "draft"). Thus, for week 2, I obtained as many Buffalo Bills players as possible (because this is the only team I truly care about and follow). Oh, except that I kept Eli (because I love me some Mannings!).

2) I ignored everyone who flipped out when I dropped a "good" player (Marvin Harrison?) so that I could pick up WRs from the Buffalo Bills. The whole rest of the league fought over who would get him. Guess what -- my players are better! Even the guy out for the next month because of thumb surgery (Roscoe Parrish) has more points! So there.

3) One random day each week, when I find myself particularly bored at work and I have read everyone's blogs and no one else is in my office to catch me (because doing anything "Fantasy" in a science department is often frowned upon), I spend about 4 minutes looking at my team. My main goal: make sure none of my players are on a bye week or are hurt. Fortunately, I have a few people also in the league that let me know that I need to switch players. This usually happens on Tuesday or Wednesday.

4) On Sunday, at about 1:30, I realize that instead of watching actual football, I should have been thinking about my fantasy football. Then I hope that everyone on my fantasy team is playing that day and go back to knitting and/or working and/or house cleaning while watching football.

5) On Monday, I rely on everyone else in the league to analyze my team and let me know how I did (usually I get this update when I am trying to work on real work on my computer and people mistake manuscript writing for fantasy football).

By following my strategy, you too can win one of four fantasy match-ups and be second-to-last in your league!!!

Oh, and Go Bills!!!

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